Live Horny

From the Upper East Side

I’m sorry, but when I see these images, I don’t think about vitamins or protein smoothies, I think of hot-ass adult film stars.

From Greenpoint, Brooklyn.

Pump It

This is Pumps.

A local rock n roll strip bar whatever that is. It’s only about a dozen blocks from my house, but I’ve never been. Anyone want to join me for a drink here?

From their website: PUMPS is your local topless bar keeping those Williamsburg hipsters in check with strong drinks, vintage motorcycles, and sexy strippers. Bad day at work? Bored? Come by for some quality boobs and booze!

Fiber Breach

From Kent Avenue, Williamsburg, Brooklyn, New York, USA, Earth, Milky Way.

Cold Ice

More interesting fonts. Remember this one?

 

From Nassau Ave near Bedford Ave.

Pole Dancing For Jesus

This lady is combining Sunday worship with the art of getting money tucked into your underwear by simulating sexual intercourse with a metal pole.  I think she may be onto something.

Could you imagine if going to church meant getting a lap dance?

Queensapalaza

To get to work, I take buses from Greenpoint to the Queensborough Bridge and then I walk briefly across an 8 lane rush hour construction site not unlike being inside of the game of Frogger.  And then a bus to Manhattan.  Queens Plaza always looks trashed, like an all day summer concert passed through it every night. But so, they’re re-building it with Obama money I suppose. But it’s very hard to imagine this place ever looking nice, since it’s also full of ex-cons, speed freaks, cops and strippers every night. Here’s some current pictures of the mess that a cement guy told me will be complete by mid-Summer 2011. Uh-huh.

One Pounds

Greenpoint is home to dozens upon dozens of pharmacies and health & beauty stores, but I can’t say there’s a whole lot of health & beauty going on with the average Polski eating mass quantities of processed meat products and sucking down cigarettes like it’s the last day on Earth. For the record, this is the best spelled sign I’ve seen outside of Chopin Chemists on Manhattan Avenue in a long while, even though one is singular and nobody owns a scale that’s going to notice such tiny fluctuations. It’s also worth noting that according to the Journal of the American Medical Association, HCG (Human chorionic gonadotropin) is neither safe to use or effective on weight whatsoever.  I see an HCG-infused kielbasa that you can smoke coming to a store in our area one day.

Twatter

I think the only reason Twitter exists is for whores to shamelessly self-promote themselves. Seriously, since I started my own Twitter account, I have been “followed” by dozens of people that I don’t know that have hyperlinks to fake dating websites that equate to the electronic version of the red light district.  I’d like to know how you found me, but more importantly, I want to know how stupid you think I am.  I’m sure I’m not the only one, just last week, a female friend told me she was getting the same shit. I’m going to guess that this type of spam is a huge and annoying problem already and probably deserves a special name that I will personally designate as Twatter, or Twattering: The indirect, mass marketing of your twat in 140 characters or less.